I’ve had a huge revelation over the past week. I stepped into my power.
Here’s why, here’s how.
Well, I had a very, very unexpected breakup last week. Everything was great, and in a matter of seconds it wasn’t …”poof!” Gone. Done. A relationship I put a good amount of time and energy into vanished into thin air like a puff of smoke. Retrospectively, I saw the signs and don't worry, I’m fine.
The relationship ended because I chose myself. In the midst of conflict, I chose to stand in my values, and fight for my dignity because I deserve and owe that to myself. I have gone through way too many challenges and groomed myself into someone I know, like, and trust, to bend my integrity to fit the mold or story of another person.
I could have easily chosen to roll over and accept a false narrative to keep the peace in that partnership, because I was having a great time. In fact, the old me probably would have done this. However, I cannot bend into a lie. In fact, it’s not even physically possible.
“Whether in the mountains or by the sea,
I promise to do what feels right, intentionally.
It may not jive with you, and that’s okay.
Just do what YOU need to do,
To make your soul ring proud and true.”
- Pg 111 of BLOOM
I was pretty darn proud of myself. I felt like a badass knowing my boundaries and keeping them once the line had been crossed.
You probably wouldn't expect this from a breakup, but this experience was utterly enlightening. Not to say that I wasn’t sad or didn’t grieve, but this breakup gave me the missing piece of confidence I have been searching for for…well…a long time. It finally clicked how strong I am, how good I am. In a very dark time, my light started shining brighter than ever.
With this revelation, I don't want to play small anymore. So many times I have kept quiet and agreed to keep the peace. With "yes maam’s" and "no sir’s" always afraid of what kind of trouble stirring the pot may bring. I've been afraid to express myself creativity for fear of judgement and afraid to express myself in relationships because I wanted them to last.
I feel strong enough on all fronts to bring up conflict in a respectful way, to calmly express my thoughts, to know when enough is enough, and when to walk away.
We should only have a problem expressing ourselves if we are blatantly being rude to others. Then we need a sit down. :D
I know I can trust myself because of all of the tools I have gained and developed over the years alongside mentors and coaches.
I see how all of the holistic health practices from breath and meditation, to journaling and drinking have benefitted me immensely.
I passed my own test.
I’m not afraid anymore, and I hope you aren’t either. I hope you can take the tools you've learned throughout the years and apply them to your next challenge.
I am always here to support you.
All my love,
Megan Wren is a CHEK Holistic Lifestyle Coach, Fitness Expert, Poet & Author. You can find her on instagram at @itsmeganwren